Surviving Enlightenment
In my most recent post on Instagram, I shared that I was invited onto The Other Way Podcast to discuss my journey from being a segment producer for the Today Show to becoming a yoga teacher. This invitation prompted me to reflect on the spontaneous—and at times precarious—path I've navigated over the past 20 years.
In many ways, the true revelation of teaching has been the discovery of our shared humanity.
People often comment on how life must be inherently easier and "rosier" as a yoga teacher compared to my former life as a network news producer. This idea fascinates me because, in truth, the opposite is often the case. The immersion in world events as a journalist was, in many ways, easier to manage than the internal expectations and deep questioning that come with being on a spiritual path. As a yoga teacher, I’m not only responsible for navigating my own journey but also for holding space for others who are seeking spiritual awakening.
The path of yoga illuminates the delicate balance between our longing for an oasis of contentment and our resistance to letting go of the entrenched belief systems that keep us from fully realizing that peace.
Kasia Stigglebout, host of The Other Way Podcast, shared something her therapist once told her: "We are worthy, not entitled." That simple truth has resonated deeply with me, both as a teacher and as a student of life.
I am worthy of deep faith—that my path as a yogi will lead me to a life of abundance, economic security, and professional fulfillment, much like the sense of value I experienced in my former career.
By comparison—what as a yogi we would call the "Thievery of Joy"—life was easier when I wasn't striving to be a better person. When I was simply covering the world, I was esteemed, well-compensated, and allowed to inspire others with my work. But the promise of yoga, and of spiritual awakening, goes far beyond that.
I’ve come to realize that I am not entitled to the rewards of this practice simply because I meditate, eat consciously, no longer drink or use drugs, or live with a manifesto of kindness and compassion. Spiritual awakening does not come with an automatic guarantee. It is something we work toward, something we earn through a deep commitment to growth and transformation.
I also hope to one day put this journey into greater detail in my upcoming book, Surviving Enlightenment: An Urban Yogini's Path to Awakening.